I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
