he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
just tell him i said nine months
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
