i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
