oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
