As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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