I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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