I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
