You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
