you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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