Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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