Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
