I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
