It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
