if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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