Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
