she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
