The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
