it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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