I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
