the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
