Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
