He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
