I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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