don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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