He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
