I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
