Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
