Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
