so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
