Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
