If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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