also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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