I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
