Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize