i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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