I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
