Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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