If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
