doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
