I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
