One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
