Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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