Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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