i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
