Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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