She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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