How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
