It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You are a genius and a whore.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
