Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You made out with two different species that night
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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