..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
