The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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